Monday, August 25, 2008


Evan thinks the Chinese gymnasts are actually 16.


Evan roots against Michael Phelps.


Friday, August 15, 2008


At the bar last week, Evan watched as a cop ordered chicken fingers. When the chicken fingers came out, Evan stole them, and then ate them.

Friday, July 25, 2008


AT&T knows that Evan sucks, and they don't want him to buy an iPhone, so they told him he has to pay $499 dollars for one while the rest of the country pays $299.


Evan likes Yoko Ono.


Evan bets on the Washington Generals every time they play the Harlem Globetrotters.

Monday, July 14, 2008


Evan is a lover, not a fighter.

He's not good at that either.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008


Evan's favorite T.V. show is Tyler Perry's "House of Payne."

Monday, July 7, 2008


Evan once wore a leprechaun-green, woman's suit and skirt for Halloween.


Evan gets confused sometimes and wears a belt on his head.

-Joe R.


Evan wears women's underwear. On the outside.

Saturday, July 5, 2008


Evan does indeed suck. a great deal.

More details to follow.

Friday, July 4, 2008


Evan rooted for the Red Coats in the Revolutionary War.

Happy 4th of July!

Thursday, July 3, 2008


True story.

The domain "" is owned by a company. You can make a bid to purchase it if you go to the website. I made a bid of 20 dollars. This is the response I received.

"Hello Steve,

We have received your email regarding the domain

The owner of the domain has listed the sales price of $ 1,650 for this domain."

COME ON! Who would pay $1,650 for that? What I want to know is who thinks anybody would pay that much for that domain?


Evan still plays in the ball pit in McDonald's.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008


Evan is responsible for Global Warming.


Evan actually believes that Al Gore invented the internet.


Evan drives in the carpool lane with a blow-up doll in the passenger seat.


Evan macrame'd himself a pair of jean shorts.


Apparently the people who own the rights to are asking 1650 dollars for it!


When Evan tickles "Tickle Me Elmo", Elmo punches him in the face.

-Chris S.


Evan thought Green Ketchup and Crystal Pepsi were great ideas.

-Steve K.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Picture #1 - Team Evan Sucks goes to the San Diego Zoo


Evan thought Faceball would be a good way to meet girls around the dorm.

-Ali R.


Evan gave me a boy dog's name.

-Frisby the Cat


Evan stopped believin'.



The one thing I won't do for love is hang out with Evan.



Evan is a communist.

-Steve's Dad


Evan shot the sheriff.

-Chris S.


Evan made me play kickball when I told him I didn't want to.

-Ali R.


Evan thinks we need less cowbell.

-Steve K.


Evan spelled backwards is Nave:

Nave: Nau"se*a\ (? or ?), n. [L., fr. Gr. ?, fr. ? ship. See Nave of a church, and cf. Noise.] Seasickness; hence, any similar sickness of the stomach accompanied with a propensity to vomit; qualm; squeamishness of the stomach; loathing.
Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc. (

Enough Said!


Monday, June 30, 2008


Evan really hoped they would never find Nemo.

-Steve K.


Mario Kart 64 Battle Mode: 32-1...enough said

-Brad H.


"Evan sucks because he is the greatest person to walk the planet and that just isn't fair."



Evan will only play video games that he is good at so as not to admit that he sucks at everything else.

-Nikhil P.


He hit me with his clown car, Bubbles.

- Joe R.


"Is it worth it, let me work it
I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it"

Now imagine the previous statement, played entirely in reverse, in Microsoft Sound Recorder consistently for an ENTIRE SEMESTER.

-Brad H.


His favorite song is "La La" by Ashley Simpson

-Steve K.


Evan shot Bambi's mom.

-Nitin M.


Evan is already camped out waiting in line for Disney's "Beverly Hills Chihuahua."


He advertises this blog in his away messages.


You know the kid in class who would remind the teacher at the end of the day that she forgot to give out a homework assignment? That's Evan.

-Steve K.


Evan wants higher gas prices.

-Steve K.


He slaps people for no reason and then claims he was provoked.

-Nikhil P.


He ruins photos by jumping in the backgound and making a stupid face and/or throwing things at people.

-Alice R.


He makes outdated and confusing references to Duran Duran songs

-Matt C.


"He sucks because he can't handle my moves"



Evan hates Raymond.

-Chris S.


I heard Evan rooted for Drago in Rocky IV.


Sunday, June 29, 2008


Freshman year of college, he would forget to call both me and John EVERY DAY to go to dinner.

Also, he told me I suck at playing the harmonica.

-Ali R.


Evan sucks because he drunk dialed me from Houston at 2:30AM to yell at me for not feeding our cat (which I did) or my other roommate Nikhil (he fed himself, he's quite capable). He then called back an hour later to leave me this message: "You, sir, are a scalawag."

-Steve K.


I wanted to play golf this weekend here in Atlanta. A few problems:

-My clubs are in Evan's trunk.
-Evan's car is right in front of our apartment.
-Evan is in Houston.
-Evan's keys are in his pocket, in Houston.
-His spare keys are in Alabama.

I am forced to play golf by creating a Frankenstein set of clubs from other dead sets. I borrow my friend's wife's putter (named the Golden Bear), and her sand wedge (named Tiara). I borrow my other roommate's irons, and use the woods from another set of clubs. I was fine with the other clubs, but Tiara and Golden Bear really screwed me.

Evan sucks.